Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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