I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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