On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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