i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
