At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
