Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
