didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
