RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
