just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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