she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
