I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
