Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
