you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
