I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
