If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
