If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
