Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I could make wine with my vomit
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
