So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
