My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
