Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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