is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
