I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
