my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
