you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize