By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
