I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
