I got her a Nickelback box set.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
