What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize