Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
