Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
