It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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