Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
