guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
