I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
