Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
