the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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