O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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