the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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