u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
