Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
