I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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