i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
