Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
