nut hugger
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
