Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
