were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Come on in and take your pants off
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