Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
