I'm going to jail i love you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
