that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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