My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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