Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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