ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
